Thorn

Thorn
Directed by Dave Smith
Released: December 17, 1999
Voice Cast: Dave Smith

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About a year before I made this 3DMM movie, my friend Tom Siwula and I made some Slasher movie- styled comic drawings of pretend serial killers, Thorn and Metal. I was Thorn, Tom was Metal. So I started a script for Thorn and tried making it into a real, real script. But keep in mind I was 13 at the time I wrote this script, so of course when I showed it to some “professionals” they instantly thought it was bad. I e-mailed the script to a guy named Tim Whitfield who was attempting a Friday the 13th fan sequel but never got back to me. So in joking I put his name as the director of this movie.

thorn-2 thorn-3

The plot is about a 7th grade student who is not doing well, and the people around him are being killed off one by one. His friend is starting to wonder why is he acting so strange (his friend eventually ends up being Metal). The student is cursed with THORN, an idea that was already talked about in Halloween 6. If you are cursed with Thorn, then you kill your whole family and bloodline. However I made it so that, not just the family is killed, but everyone gets it. My vision of the movie was still not perfect of course. I tried to make this all handmade scenes, my first movie to do so. About time, too! The voice acting by me is terrible, as is the Midi music soundtrack. I really should’ve planned it out better.

thorn

The “sex scenes” are ridiculous, but I was 14 when I made this. The only real highlight is the brutal kills. This would eventually become a slasher series, and I knew what I wanted for each sequel.

The Machine

The Machine
Directed by Dave Smith (& Will Maltby)
Released December 2, 1999
Voice Cast: Dave Smith, Will Maltby

I directed a lot of bad films, but this one takes the cake right next to City Violence as one of my worst films that I completely regret making for any reason. I think I had a fascination with Will Maltby’s 3DMM films at the time. He had a website called 3dmm.co.uk that showcased his films, and they were all short movies with really great animation and gore. I wanted to make a movie that combined some of the shorts into one film. However I fucked it up with this. I hate that I even attempted British accents. I hate that I had a stupid plot that didn’t make sense whatsoever. And I completely regret ever not asking Will Maltby his permission to use his bits of amazing animation. I suck. I hate this movie so much that I hope no one ever sees it. Luckily when I did put this out, I am almost 100% sure that no one saw it. I may have shown Andrew this movie one time, and he didn’t like it either. Complete garbage.

The Watchtower

The Watchtower
Directed by
Andrew Murphy (& Dave Smith)
Released: November 27, 1999
Voice Cast: Andrew Murphy, Dave Smith

This is Andrew’s 4th film as Nitro Productions, and very controversial. Because of its disturbing content, it put Andrew’s name out there, even though I was also involved in the making of it. Before this movie was even made, Andrew and I thought about making the most disturbing and perverted 3DMM film to ever be made. So we wrote down a list of what kind of fucked up things would happen in the movie. We were 13 & 14 at the time this was made, so we had a lot of sick and strange ideas. Timothy, the main character, escapes jail. While he escapes with his friend, they seek refuge in an abandoned-looking Watchtower. As soon as they enter the dark hallways, they get beat up by a strange guy who tells them they are going back to the cell. Timothy and his friend are sure that they’re back in regular jail, but it is not. The other prisoners, who are actually friendly with them, warn them about the perversions they will be witnessing. There are guards that force Timothy to watch other people experience pain, and sexual torture. Timothy also has to endure some pain and sexual torture. I won’t explain much else about the movie beyond that point, but there is a cameo by Gargle Man, who has a very disturbing scene in a kitchen. Towards the end of the film, there is an uprising, and at that point I helped Andrew out with some of the scenes. We knew this movie would freak a lot of people out, especially since most of the people watching these movies were young like us. It did establish a reputation for Andrew, and his name was finally out there in the 3DMM Community. It’s a cult-classic. Even to this day, Andrew and I will watch it and laugh our asses off at how messed up it is.

Hell

Hell
Directed by Dave Smith
Released: November 18, 1999
Voice Cast: Dave Smith

I still wonder why the hell I made this movie. No pun intended. I think what I wanted to do was to further my interest in violent 3DMM scenes while playing music that would bother parents in the background. This has an all-Korn soundtrack, which I definitely regret. This movie is about is a group of terrorists killing people at a mall, and then killing all the cops surrounding the mall. One guy, whose background is not explained, goes in and kills the terrorists, and it ends. Very simple and short and there are no handmade scenes. By then I should’ve made some handmade scenes, but still never attempted.

Gleason

Gleason
Directed by Dave Smith & Andrew Murphy
Released: November 13, 1999
Voice Cast: Andrew Murphy, Dave Smith

gleason

Many people wonder if this is a sequel to the original Chris Gleason. It is, and it isn’t. It’s the same character, and it is in part directly a spin-off of the movie Wasted, which happens at the same time this movie does. The story is a typical day (or days) in the life of Chris Gleason. It opens with a perverted scene, and then moves on with his day at work, and then more dumb things happen. We made some interesting handmade scenes in this movie, but by the middle of it we gave up and went back to making easy scenes again. There are definitely some hilarious moments, and really dumb moments that make you wonder why they are in this movie. The ending is the same ending as the movie Wasted when he gets a job as a caddy.

Beheaded

Didn’t feel like updating on my birthday, but anyway… back to the marathon of my early bad films. This is my tribute to my favorite band at the time, THE OFFSPRING:

Beheaded
Directed by Dave Smith
Released: October 31, 1999
Voice cast: Dave Smith

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Our favorite band at this time in our lives (as many others our age) was The Offspring. I loved the song Beheaded, and wanted to make a movie out of the lyrics. The plot was Dexter, the lead singer of the band, gets back home from college, his parents annoy him, and he kills them. He then kills his girlfriend, his rival band, some random people, and then onto his band mates. I tried to get a darker feel for this movie, rather than the typical B-horror cheese I was good at. Still, its 3DMM, so it’s hard to make that work. I fuck up a lot with the sound in this (low voices, loud music, etc.) It didn’t work out the way I wanted it to, basically. I was very disappointed in it. I think it took me a couple years until I re-released it online, so not too many people watched it the first time around. I attempted to make handmade scenes, but gave up early on and continued to use the scenes that the game provided.

2005: A Nuclear Genesis

2005 – A Nuclear Genesis
Directed by Andrew Murphy
Released: October 16, 1999
Voice Cast: Andrew Murphy

2005

I’ll take the blame for this one. I suggested to Andrew that he should try to make a Sci-Fi epic because he was doing so awesome with the handmade scenes. He attempted with a lame story that I concocted that would’ve been a great plot for 1960s/1970s Sci-Fi flick about a war involving Earth vs. Mars. The ship Titan I has to fight and do battle with all the Martian rebellion ships. There is a lot of bad dialogue, and cheesy battle scenes that have a lot of explosions. The final battle scene at the end is a little fun to watch, and you can tell Andrew was getting better at making the handmade scenes. Andrew really hates this movie, and I feel bad that I forced him to try and make it. I felt that he would be the next epic director in 3DMM, but remember I was 14 when I thought this way. This is another one I actually didn’t have any voice parts in.

F.M.

F.M.
Directed by
Dave Smith (& Andrew Murphy)
Released sometime in September 1999
Voice Cast: Dave Smith, Andrew Murphy

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I apologize to all the sensitive people of today’s politically correct world – but I was 14 years old when I made this film. It all started as a joke. Andrew and I had been watching bad movie after bad movie ending with Massacre on the title. Andrew jokingly asks “What is there was a movie called Faggot Massacre?” So I thought it’d be hilarious to make a really gory movie with that title. The plot ended up being about a restaurant/bar that opens up that doesn’t allow gay people to dine in. A day later there is a gay group protest outside the bar, and somehow an “implosion” kills them and they come back as gay zombies. I’m still not sure why that happened, but that’s what happens. Next thing you know, everyone is killed and the guy who opened the bar (conveniently named Andrew) is all by himself to fight the zombies. It ends on an open note for a sequel to be made. It’s basically a bad zombie movie, like how Camp Massacre was a bad slasher movie. But they’re gay zombies – really dumb I know. It is just a derogatory title of a movie that makes you wonder what the hell it is about. At least it gave me a chance to work on some new bloody and gory killing techniques. Andrew definitely helped out a lot at my house when we made this movie, so to say it was just me directing it, is incorrect.

Chris Gleason

Chris Gleason
Directed by
Andrew Murphy
Released: September 12, 1999
Voice Cast: Andrew Murphy

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erereugh

erereugh

This hilarious and classic 3DMM movie was when we started to get a little better at movies – well… maybe not better, but a step forward in the right direction. This movie is Andrew’s 2nd 3dmm film done entirely by himself, and it is the first to not have the scenes provided by the program. They are all handmade scenes that Andrew created himself using props. We knew other 3DMM directors did it, and did it good. So to do this was a real challenge and it took way longer to make. The plot of the movie is simple: the main title character is the popular kid in school. Chris picks on and makes fun of Andrew, the not-so-popular kid. But things start to turn the other way around once Chris starts having bad luck. There are many hilarious moments that are simplistic humor, but I can still chuckle at today. I really enjoyed the ending with the Procol Harum song “Repent Walpurgis” playing. Andrew definitely established his Nitro Production style with this early film. Also, funny fact, it is a rare moment that my voice is not in this movie anywhere.

Camp Massacre 3: Disturbing Behavior

Camp Massacre 3: Disturbing Behavior
Directed by Dave Smith
Released: Sometime in Late August 1999
Voice Cast: Dave Smith, Andrew Murphy

Burn the Bitch!!

Burn the Bitch!!

So here it is: the okay sequel that should’ve really just been Part 2. This time I directed it completely by myself. You get a glimpse of the killer’s past… his mom was killed by some camp counselors in the 1940’s; he vows revenge, etc. etc – very generic slasher plotline. We flash forward to modern day, and there are still camp counselors going to camp where they are obviously killed off one by one. We do have some funny if not super cliché characters getting killed off this time around – we have the asshole that hates everyone, the fat guy that gets laid with the hot girl (so unreal), the 2 black guys that say everything together exactly at the same time, a geeky guy that says when he has to go to the bathroom that he “Has to excrete urinary fluid out of his male sex organ, be right back!” and the main female that kills the killer off at the end is a Tranny. Somehow every time I attempted the female voice, you could hear the deep voice from puberty kicking in. Hilarious, and bad as usual, this concludes the awful Camp Massacre series.