Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

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This movie was brand-spanking new the first time I ever heard of Jason. I was about 8 years old watching TV, flipping channels and would usually take note of every movie preview I saw. This one always stuck with me because of the cover with the hockey mask and the snake. I found out real quick it was a movie series especially when some kids at school were wearing hockey masks for Halloween costumes. I only knew that he was Jason, but didn’t know the back story or anything until I rented Friday the 13th part 1 some years later. My mom didn’t want me watching them right away probably because of the sex scenes. Its funny because by 1993 I had already seen some really violent R-rated movies.

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Once I did get around to watching them, I still did not see it in the right order. I’d see bits and pieces of this sequel, and I was always confused with the story. It was my mission to see them all by the time I got to this one because it was “The Final Friday“.  Okay, here we go, major spoilers.
It actually starts off fresh. It completely ignores the end of Part 8 which I am okay with.  We get right into the meat when the first chick gets naked and the lights go out. Jason attacks and next thing you know shes running in the woods in high heels only to lead him to an ambush! Surprise! The SWAT team got him surrounded and literally blow him up into pieces. It’s definitely a surprise opener the first time you see it. Every time after that you know what’s going to happen.

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All the Jason body parts are taken to a morgue to be analyzed by a coroner. It isn’t long before the coroner gets hungry and pigs out on Jason’s still-beating heart. I was confused at first, but Jason somehow “possessed” and took over the coroner’s body.

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Next, the coroner’s assistant arrives late with a pizza. The security guys let him in after a ticklish pat-down. One of them is played by Jason himself, Kane Hodder, and the other guy looks like Elvis. The assistant doesn’t know the coroner is really Jason and starts right away with the Jason-dissing, where one of my favorite lines comes in. He flips off the corpse and talks about how he’d love to take “A big ol’ mango-sized crap” on Jason’s mask. “Yes? That’s a probe.”
This is followed by some brutal deaths including the security dudes. Kane Hodder calling Jason a pussy is just too funny. It is followed by a special news report about Jason. This is something we had yet to ever really see in a Friday the 13th movie, other than the brief news parts in Part 3 and 4. We find out Jason’s dad name was Elias Voorhees. Crazy stuff. This brings to us a second introduction to the new character Creighton Duke (played awesomely by Steven Williams). He is a bounty hunter who’s been on the hunt to kill Jason for years. He is interviewed on the TV report about Jason, and says that only he knows the way to kill him and will do it for the right price.

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We discover that Jason actually had a sister. Not sure how I felt about that when that subplot was introduced, but I guess it worked for the story. It’s just really confusing to take in at first. Anyways, we are introduced to Diane the sister who works at a diner. Her daughter just had a baby, and the father is Steven (who ends up being one of our new main characters), a regular at the diner who doesn’t know yet.
Creighton Duke is at the diner and makes a big scene in front of the Sheriff (Billy Green Bush!) when he warns Diana about her big bro coming back. “She’s only your girl because she hasn’t had a taste of the Duke yet!”  Classic.
Diana wants to meet up with Steven so she can break the news to him about her daughter’s baby. On the way, Steven picks up hitchhikers- 2 chicks and a dude up to all kinds of debauchery.  He drops them off at Crystal Lake and tells them the classic Crystal Lake levity:
So… ya kids plan on smokin a little dope, having a little pre-marital sex, and getting slaughtered…? ”
My cousin and Uncle and I have been joking that line for years. This is followed by a scene that may just have well been my introduction to soft core porn. The 2 girls and the guy are all naked and Jason still in the coroner’s body is stalking old school style. The guy and girl start banging in the tent. The other chick gets killed off, but after that… I guess its tame at this point in my life, but at 11, 12 years old this scene was something else – a hot sex scene turning into the goriest kills Jason had in years!
I can’t tell you how many times my parents walked in on me watching that scene and shaking their head. Jason stepping on the condom is hilarious every time.

 

 


Anyways, Jason continues jumping from body to body. He jumps into one of the local cops, Josh. While in the Josh body, he kills Diane right when she was about to tell Steven about the baby. The sheriff arrives, sees her dead, and it looks like Steven did it after he pushes “Josh” through the window.
In a very funny scene, he finds himself in a jail cell right next Creighton Duke, who, by breaking Steven’s fingers (his price), gives us the entire new supernatural back plot.  Jessica, Diana’s daughter is technically Jason’s niece. Only through a Voorhees woman can Jason be resurrected. We find out later this also includes dead Voorhees’ women.
Despite this new muddled story, unusual plot for a Friday the 13th movie, it moves along very nicely.

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In a sudden move, Steven breaks out of jail to get Jessica. One of his first stops is the Voorhees House. This is also a new thing we didn’t know about in previous Fridays. That kind of annoyed me. While there, he discovers the reporter dating Jessica, Robert Campbell, stole Diane’s body from the morgue and left it there. Jason jumps from the cop into Campbell’s body. And its a very grotesque, gory scene.

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Now Robert/Jason will be going after Jessica. Steven looks like a total bad guy because everyone thinks he actually killed Diane. It sucks, but he does get to her, and of course right away she freaks out. I won’t continue to keep going into detail at this point, I am spoiling a lot. But this is all followed by a lot of really entertaining violent scenes including the police station and diner.

 

 


By the end, we are back at the Voorhees house and sadly Creighton Duke is killed. Most of the cast except Steven and Jessica and the baby are dead. Through Diane’s corpse at the Voorhees house, Jason is finally resurrected back to life. There’s a ridiculous fight scene with Jason and Steven. Jason is sent back to hell after that special dagger is stabbed into his heart.
While we are wondering what’s going to happen next, we suddenly see the Freddy Krueger claw pop out from the ground and take the hockey mask  down under the ground to “hell”.  That’s what started the rumors for that infamous sequel we all knew was coming.
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There’s a lot of good things I can say about this movie. For one it is well-directed by Adam Marcus, who on the DVD commentary, seems like a cool dude. People can hate on it all they want, but it is a fun time even without Jason being in it the whole time. Thanks to Marcus’s nice blend of comedy, drama, slasher, and supernatural horror, it does work. There’s some good comic relief throughout and it helps. It’s extremely gory, and that makes up for the last 3.  The Melting Scene is really brutal. The shootouts at the end are over-the-top.
There’s also a lot that brings the movie down some. If anyone was a super fan before this came out, they would’ve been so disappointed with the new story and hardly seeing Jason. Not to mention how it has new things to it that screw up the already continuity error-filled timeline. Since Part 6 ended, I think the writers were running out of good ideas. But you gotta remind yourself it is Part 9… who cares? I thought these new characters stood out a little better than the previous Fridays.
When you do see Jason, he looks quite horrid… and the Voorhees house – when did this happen? Also that fight with Steven and Jason at the end — total cheese. He totally would’ve killed him right away, and not kept up an ongoing beatup sesh. I also feel Jessica was introduced later in the story not earlier on, and the baby at the end, where did she go? Also, the lighting is horrendous.
Okay so despite the millions of complaints, its still a decent movie. Like the sequels, its junk food. It was made for the fans to be entertained, and it does that. The only other thing that’s weird is that this is the only 90s Jason movie. After this, there was a long wait until the next one.

RANDOM THOUGHTS/OBSERVATIONS

Mmm… that deformed oversized heart looks delicious.
The weird music Steven listens to in the car before he picks up the teens
The chicks peeing in the woods, definitely gives a feeling of discomfort.
“Think you’re ready for Tony the Wonder Llama?”
The body jumping parts look like “Jason” is making out with the next body he’s to possess with the hell baby.
The Necronomicon from Evil Dead in the Voorhees house. I think everyone knows this by now.
When Randy punches Steven and he looks like he has lipstick for a second.

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Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

 

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In the early days of my movie obsessions, I always came across this one at the Suncoast video store in the mall. The cover fascinated me, and I regarded Jason as something as big as King Kong or Godzilla. Years go by, now its 5th grade – I remember one of my classmates saying they watched Jason Takes Manhattan. I asked him how it was and he said it was bad. Maybe I should’ve heeded the warning. There’s a reason this is most people’s least favorite Jason movie. But before I get into that… As many of you fellow readers may know, I did not see the Friday the 13th movies in perfect order. In fact, this one was early on. I first saw Part 1, then Part 3, then it was this one. I had no choice, it was playing on TV and I had to seize the moment so I could see all of them.

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The “Saa saaa saa” in the beginning though is kind of neat. Sounds like its left over from Part 7’s soundtrack. Unlike Part 7 (which I would actually see after this one… for some reason they were playing the series backwards), this has a terribly cheesy opening credit sequence. The narrative done very well by my favorite asshole of the movie, Uncle Charles (Peter Mark Richmond – He plays a great asshole!)

The opening scene with Jim and Suzy is already hilarious. They’re just about to have sex,  and of course Jim gets more naked than Suzy. Its always funnier when the guy is more naked than the chick.  Before they get down n’ dirty, Jim does a terrible retelling of the Jason legend. Young Jason has hair in the flashback? Whaaaat?? So stupid.
Jim goes out to checking something out, then pranks Suzy by wearing a hockey mask and fake stabbing her. She pretends to die a bit after being fake stabbed? Can this get any cheesier?

Renee is our main character. She’s kind of cute and innocent, about to graduate. She’s friends with the cool teacher Mrs. Van Deusen, who’s a big Stephen King fan. Renee has a fear of water that her asshole Uncle Charles always seems to remind her about. He’s always telling her she shouldn’t be a part of it, but she goes along anyway. Her boyfriend is Sean Robertston, and his dad is the Captain of the boat. His pops is nice and friendly, but really puts the pressure on for him to be the next skipper some day.  The crazy Ralph-wannabe deck hand warns everyone, but of course no one cares.

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Things get crazy and people die one by one in brutal and funny ways. The sauna rock death and glass shard death are brutal. Unfortunately a lot of it is edited and cut down really badly. It’s disappointing to show friends other than the funniest death of the movie which is Julius. But we’ll get to that. Even though people are dying, Uncle Charles still refuses to believe its Jason. The ship eventually catches fire remaining survivors/main characters end up on a lifeboat. They do eventually make it to New York. But the movie is well over halfway over by then. Oh well.

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Once they get there, they are robbed, and Renee kidnapped by the same thugs. Eventually Jason arrives and catches up with everybody. More slaughters occur including the mugger dipshits that try to drug and rape poor Renee. I love when Jason slams the dude at the hot steam pipe.  Julius as I mentioned earlier, has the best death hands down. He boxes Jason till he can’t hit anymore! Jason hits back… and … well should I spoil it?  Knocks his block off and it lands in the garbage!! Haha sorry totally had to.

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There’s a car accident moment where we see a flashback of a young Renee and her Uncle Charles at Crystal Lake in who knows what year in the timeline…. He’s one of those goony weird uncles. The dude pushes his poor niece into the water to try to get her to swim. What a bastard!  Jason with hair (which is annoying) pulls her under. After the flashback ends, you can’t help but want this guy dead. We get our wish once Jason goes ninja on his ass.

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After all that, Jason chases Renee and Sean all over New York City. They kill him a few times and then they end up in the sewer. Somehow all the sewage/toxic waste that pours through the sewer dissolves him back to a little child with hair. Stupid ending. But hey at least Renee’s dog comes back.  It’s a farewell to Paramount F13 era, I guess. Somehow Jason Goes to Hell starts all the way back at Crystal Lake .


This wasn’t a great sequel. I still enjoy it as a Friday the 13th movie, but it definitely wouldn’t be the first one I would show somebody, and it isn’t nearly as good as my more favorite sequels. Just a fact. A lot of classic death moments, some are creative, but just more comical and not very graphic ones. It feels cheesier than previous sequels, and somehow Jason becomes ninja-like with the teleporting as he did in Part 7. It also feels overlong for a Friday the 13th movie. It’s already the length of a typical sequel by the time they finally arrive to NY.  But whatever. Like most of these sequels, its junk food, I like watching it despite its faults. Just wait til we get to the next one…

RANDOM THOUGHTS/OBSERVATIONS

Super 80s soundtrack despite technical timeline being somewhere around 94/95.
Jason is very slimy.
Mrs Van Deusens death and the remaining kids on the boat burning to death and drowing. People forget sometimes.
Wayne killed someone. See? Jason doesn’t always do the murders in these movies!
The deckhand only wishes he was Crazy Ralph.
Julius laughing like a cartoon character when he sees the statue of liberty.

Friday the 13th Part VII – The New Blood (1988)

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On to Part VII… This to me is the start of the slight downward spiral of the franchise. I will explain that later in the review. This particular sequel does have a significance in the series believe it or not. It’s the first to have Kane Hodder play Jason. He’s not my favorite Jason actor ever ever, but he’s definitely a good one.

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It’s also the first and only sequel to this point that doesn’t have Harry Manfredini‘s music heavily involved. Fred Mollin, who did the Friday the 13th TV show series that was put together by the original’s director Sean S. Cunningham (and has nothing directly to do with the Jason movies) brings an interesting, new score but I still love Manfredini’s better.
The opening montage is narrated by none other than Walt Gorney who played Crazy Ralph in the first 2. It’s actually well put together and sets the tone nicely.
It also adds a new part to the timeline with the flashback in the beginning with Tina’s story. Tina is our main protagonist who has telekinetic powers, much like the Stephen King book/movie Carrie.
The flashback in the beginning shows her as a child living in the Crystal Lake area with her parents. Her parents are fighting one night, and by accident her telekinetic powers kill her dad and he drowns in the lake. That’s the new twist for this sequel, a chick with telekinetic powers vs. Jason. When I first saw it I liked the idea, now I just kind of laugh at how lame it is to add to the Friday series.  Well anyway, back to the story…
Since then, Tina’s been seeing therapists, and we see in the beginning she is on her way, with her mom, to see Dr. Crews (played amazingly by Bernie himself, Terry Kiser!). He definitely plays a great asshole doctor who’s more interested in Tina being exploited instead of helping her. I am sure there is money in it for him somewhere, that scheming bastard. Tina, played by Lar Park Lincoln, is super cute. Next door there are a group of teens of course at a summer house. Hmmm, sounds all too familiar. Right away she is the subject of ridicule, but Nick seems like a nice guy.

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One night after a not-so-well moment at the neighbors’ party, she starts to freak out, and tries with her powers to bring her pop back. Instead, Jason who’s been down there since the end of Part 6, comes up instead. Here we go.
I have to admit the makeup effects for Jason look fucking great. However, a part of me thinks a large part of the budget was spent more on that then the killings. I’ll explain further. Jason’s first victims are a few people nearby including Michael, the brother of Nick who’s supposed to be the whole reason for the teens having the house party.

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So she wakes up and of course Dr. Crews thinks she’s nuts and needs to be committed. Tina and her mom freak out. Tina runs away, with the mom and Dr. Crews looking for her.

Meanwhile, this gives Jason plenty of time to kill.  One of my favorite deaths early in the movie is the sleeping bag kill. Classic.
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One of the hotties is played by Elizabeth Katan, who I absolutely loved in Silent Night, Deadly Night 2. Of course she doesn’t last long here. She does, however bang a stoner dude named David. How cool. Of course, he gets killed, too. I have to admit the one-by-one style in this is well done, but the graphic-ness of the kills seems missing, even more so than Part 6! That’s my only big complaint, seriously.

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I’ve called this the beginning of the cheesy era of Jason.  Not that the last one was any less cheesier, you could also call it Extra Cheesy Era of Jason. Even the Jason Ninja-style phenomena makes an appearance in this. That’s when Jason’s there, then he’s gone, and he’s suddenly in another spot that’s almost impossible to have gotten to in a short amount of time. Or maybe he’s part warlock besides just being zombie?
Once everyone is killed off, it’s a big face off between Jason and Tina. I do admit its way more entertaining towards the end with telekinetic powers vs Jason rather than the typical chase the virgin girl around for 20 minutes before the ending.

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But that’s the thing that also is a letdown for me in this sequel, the ending. The house explosion (with Jason in it), he comes back out like a ninja, hardly burned at all, and then Tina’s dad popping out of the dock, strangling JV and taking him back down to his watery grave. Seriously what the hell. No kidding. They really did run out of ideas!

Like I stated previously, at first I liked the new twist with the ESP/Telekinetic stuff, but not so much now.  Also like I said, it’s even less gorier than Part VI and it was directed by a makeup Fx guy!! It may have been because of the PMRC era, cutting the gore out as much as possible. The other reason possibly being too much of the budget going into the telekinetic effects and Jason’s makeup.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS/OBSERVATIONS
I already made a lot during this review, but I have more:

Jason’s grave exploding in the opening montage… I think that’s in a trailer somewhere but its here as if it were part of the series.

Nick hung out with a “bad crowd”. Good thing he learned a thing or two from it!

What’s up with the names of the characters using their full names? Like Michael and David. So square. Who wrote this script? This happens again in Jason Goes To Hell.

A lot of Jason face at the end.

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives! (1986)

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Starring: Thom Matthews, Jennifer Cooke, David Kagen

First off before I start – GREAT FUCKING SEQUEL.  Many might give me shit about it or say its cliche’, but this really is a great sequel.  It’s even better if you watch it right after Part 4. They both go together very well. This is the Part 5 fans really wanted, because Jason really does come back, for real this time! Tommy is back too and played by the awesome Thom Matthews from Return of the Living Dead.  Him and his buddy from the institute (played hilariously by Ron Palillo from Welcome Back Kotter!), are out to dig Jason up and make sure he’s dead.F136-3
Right off the bat, the film has horror and comedy nicely combined. There’s an energy to it faster than the previous Fridays. Tom McLoughlin’s direction is spot on.
Of course things go horribly wrong when they try to dig Jason up. Jason rises from the dead after Tommy impales his corpse with a metal rod that gets hit by lightning. Yes! The moment fans were waiting for.

 

 


They even do a joke James Bond style opening.

Tommy runs to the sheriff’s office of Crystal Lake now called “Lake Forest Green”. The Sheriff played by David Kagen plays the perfect asshole counterpart that doesn’t believe a word Tommy says and thinks he’s crazy. He decides to lock Tommy up for the night.

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In the morning when he awakens he sees the Sheriff’s hot daughter Megan (Jennifer Cooke), and her friends getting ready to open Camp Forest Green. Of course, she takes an interest in Tommy. Sheriff definitely doesn’t like that.

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He basically gets kicked out of town once they see Jason’s grave is dug back up thanks to the drunken caretaker of the cemetery, Martin.
The locals and counselors are picked off by Jason, and the cops of course think Tommy is doing it. Megan finds out and meets up with Tommy to get him back at the camp to get everyone out of there. The Sheriff interrupts many times to annoy us, but once it all comes together, Tommy faces Jason one last time on the lake. It’s a decent ending, keeps the door open for a sequel.

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Apparently there’s an alternate ending where Martin the caretaker (who was already dead anyway, so it doesn’t make sense), shows Elias Voorhees (Jason’s father) visiting his grave. That would’ve been very odd.
There are some great kill scenes, including company people playing paintball in the woods, and then later in an RV. All classic Jason moments.

 

 


CJ Graham is one of my favorite Jasons, too. He totally pulls it off.

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It really is a fun time — great cast,  great soundtrack songs too by Alice Cooper! Couldn’t ask for a cooler movie. My only real complaint for this entry of the series is that is the first one (until Jason Goes to Hell) that has a lower amount of gore than usual. Definitely cool kills, but wheres the extremely bloody and gory details? By today’s standards, it almost feels PG-13. Ugh. They really needed Tom Savini for this but he was probably busy with Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 at the time. There is no nudity in this one either. While 4 is probably my favorite of the sequels, and despite the minor flaws, this comes as a close second. Another essential Jason to see.

RANDOM THOUGHTS/OBSERVATIONS

Jason 2.0 looking more zombie-like, which is awesome but if Tom Savini was doing the FX would’ve been a step in the right direction in that department.

Not only is there no nudity, but no stoners get killed in this one either.

Always heard mixed reviews for this one over the years, which I thought even for Jason fans was weird. I never understood how anyone could hate this sequel. It’s too essential for the series and the continuing Jason story. Just my thoughts. Oh well. Everyone’s got an opinion, just like everyone has an asshole.

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)

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First let me get this out of the way for Part 5. Unlike some of these so-called fans (ha), I still loved and enjoyed the shit out of Part 5.  Unfortunately all my first Friday the 13th viewings were out of order. I saw Part 4 and 6 before seeing this one. For the moments leading up to the first viewing of Part 5, I kept wondering what the hell was going to happen in between 4 & 6. The cover didn’t give away anything, it’s just a cheesy looking hockey mask. The pictures on the back of the VHS tape just show a chick crying, holding a chainsaw, Junior about to be decapitated, and maybe the kid making a scared face.

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The description of the film was also very vague. It was something along the lines of the typical, cheesy description “Jason Voorhees is back and more murderous than ever in this blood-soaked installment to the classic slasher franchise, etc.”
It must be pointed out that Tommy Jarvis is the first character since Alice and Crazy Ralph to show up in a following sequel.
It’s nice (but only for a brief moment) to see Corey Feldman play the Tommy we remember in the very beginning of the film. Right away we see him wandering through a Crystal Lake-looking forest. He ends up at the grave site of the deceased Jason Voorhees.
2 random dudes with shovels randomly run over to the grave and just start digging him up. Really? Now I’m confused as shit thinking how the hell is the beginning of Part 6 supposed to get to that point?
We find out its really just a nightmare of Tommy’s, who now appears to be older and in a van on its way to somewhere… Roll opening credits.

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So at this point early on in the movie, I see it has something going for it. Tommy is now at a mental institute in the form of what looks like a “recovery” house run by Matt and pretty blond Pam. We learn that Tommy’s been in and out of these kinds of places because he can’t seem to shake Jason Voorhees out of his head (Who wouldn’t after the events of Part 4?). He suffers from hallucinations of Jason, only to leave the audience wondering. Unlike the Tommy Jarvis in Part 4 and 6, this Tommy (played by John Shepherd) is very quiet and mentally unstable. If people mess with him, he will fight back like a motherfucker.

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Tommy isn’t the main focus believe it or not, as the story progresses. We learn that some of the locals don’t like the “nut house” including a wacky redneck lady Ethel and her son that looks oh so much like Uncle Eddy Dennis Quaid, “Junior”.

There’s a shocking moment in the beginning of the film where one of the nuts kills another. The slow, fat kid Joey annoys the shit out of a guy Vic, who is chopping wood. I was actually not expecting that at all even though i was thinking Vic might do something to Joey if he keeps pissing him off.   And whaddya know, Vic attacks Joey with an axe. Why not?

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Want a chocolate bar?

 

After that incident, murders begin to happen again. First its random locals, then it seems to be people around the area of the nuthouse.  Basically everyone in this cast, one by one. Even though most of these are typical Jason-like kills (some of them are actually creative I’ll go over my favorite kills a little later), something felt off about the killing scenes while watching it.
This has the Part 1 & 2 feeling of the mysterious killer. In Part 3 and 4, we knew clearly it was Jason. In this one, the killer is hard to figure out. It couldn’t be Jason, the murderer’s hands are too clean-looking instead of the usual rotting Jason flesh, and unlike the other 4 there is hardly any POV of the killer. While I was confused about all that, I was also starting to realize the body count is very high compared to the previous 4.

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Finally by the end, we find out the killer isn’t really Jason, but a copycat. It ends up being Roy the paramedic who was earlier in the film bagging up Joey’s corpse. When Roy was called to the scene, he realized it was his own son that was killed by Vic. He took it upon him to vow revenge Jason Voorhees-style.
Unlike Jason, Roy wasn’t a zombie, so he did meet his own fate in this one. This has a bad effect on Tommy, one of the few survivors left at the end. I’ll ruin it for you, Tommy dawns the Jason mask Roy was wearing, and…

This is why it was a big disappointment to a lot of people. But you have to realize that they wanted “A New Beginning”. That’s why the ending sucked. Tommy the new Jason after this one? Get the fuck out of here.
It’s hard for me to completely dismiss this one though. I do agree that Part 4 and 6 follow each other very well and with this one in between it feels like a mess, BUT it’s still Friday the 13th-like as it always is, and I love that. The kills are very creative. My favorites kills include the flare in the mouth, the cleaver to the face landing in a pot of hot soup, and when Demon (played by Miguel Nunez from Return of the Living Dead!) gets killed in the shitbox after singing “oooo baby” to his girlfriend, etc. Classic.

If you know this going in, and just watch it for what it is – a Friday the 13th movie! So chill out and stop hating, you can always skip it after Part 4 and go right to Part 6.

RANDOM THOUGHTS/OBSERVATIONS
— Anyone else think Pete and Vinny were weird dudes looking like they’re teens from the 50s?
— Before their deaths, Ethel and Junior would’ve been a great spin-off comedy.
— Joey’s Munchies chocolate bar. Wish I had an authentic one!
— Violet the emo chick looks ahead of her time.
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— Reggie the Reckless screams at a pitch almost higher than a little girl. I laugh at that every time. Turns the horror to comedy every time 🙂

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

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Starring: Kimberly Beck, Corey Feldman, Crispin Glover, Ted White

What can I say about the fourth and “last” installment? Well its definitely, without a doubt, an essential Friday the 13th film. It has it all. Hot girls, gruesome deaths, a little bit of comedy, and a lot of suspense.
It starts with a great opening montage in case you missed the first 3. We find Jason’s corpse back at the Higgins Haven barn. That means the dream Chris had at the end of Part 3 didn’t happen.
We find ourselves at the Crystal Lake “Wessex County Hospital morgue”. The idiot in charge is Axl (hilariously played by actor Bruce Mahler who appeared in many Police Academy films). Of course he is very negligent and just wants to get laid with the night nurse. Come to think of it, I probably would too, but handling Jason Voorhees you better  be careful.

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The big highlight of this movie for me is the return of my favorite gore master Tom Savini. Our first kill with Axl is the perfect example.

After Jason escapes the hospital, we are back to the usual formula. First we see a family that happens to live deep in the woods of Crystal Lake. There’s a mom, a sister Trish, and the younger brother Tommy. This is the first sequel in which we are introduced to the character Tommy Jarvis, a recurring character played in this one by a 12 year-old Corey Feldman. I was about the same age at the time so this would mark the first time I watched a Friday movie that I could actually relate to one of the characters.

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A group of teenagers move next door next to the family.  Crispin Glover plays one of the guys in the group of teens, and if you don’t know who that is… he is known for playing Michael J. Fox’s dad, George McFly, in Back to the Future. Before Corey and Crispin went on to better things, they were in this great Friday the 13th movie.
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Crispin plays Jimbo, a guy who is seriously desperate to get laid. His friend Ted keeps making fun of him and calling him a dead fuck. There’s a funny scene where Jimbo does a ridiculous dance to the band Lion.

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Unlike Part 3, we see a lot more nudity. No complaints here. There’s a funny scene in which young Tommy sees a hot girl stripping nude in front of the window. This also the one with the twin girls (who I personally thought were the hottest chicks I’ve seen in the series besides Megan in Part 6).  Tommy sees them skinny dipping and the look on his face is priceless.

As usual there are more awesome and intense kills that ensue. Some of my favorite kills include poor Jimbo’s death. “Ted, where’s that corkscrew?”  Also, the cheater Paulie getting it in the balls was really brutal. I didn’t expect it at first and was like damn!


I have to admit Ted White, who didn’t want recognition for the part, played the perfect Jason. Many could disagree with me on that, but I really dug Joseph Zito‘s F13 direction style as well. He didn’t pull any punches. My only real complaints were the music Paulie the cheater puts on ( aye… too old even for me). Also, the long buildup to the offscreen kill of the Mom. Maybe that was done intentionally for the suspense, who knows.
Speaking of intentionally doing things… the title. That is my only other complaint, albeit a minor one. Usually I don’t like the scenes where Jason chases the last person around, but in this one I don’t mind as much. Jason’s death at the end IS brutal. It’s worth to see how it all goes down.


I hate when I tell people Part 4 is one of my favorites, and they go which one is that? The Final Chapter title always throws people off. A year later the title meant nothing, but they kept it anyway.

Overall, awesome sequel. Definitely a good time, and one of my top favorite Jasons.

RANDOM THOUGHTS/OBSERVATIONS

Axl likes softcore aerobic porn. I notice movies around this time in the 80s have a lot of aerobic exercise videos.
We briefly get a glimpse at Pamela Voorhees’ grave. It says she died in 1979.
“I got my reputation in 6th grade.” Whooaa dude. I remember the first time I heard the hot girl say that I wondered what all that meant.
Whats up with Trish and the Rob guy being so bossy with Tommy like he has to do all the work? He’s 12 !

Friday the 13th Part 3: 3D (1982)

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3: 3D (1982)

Directed by Steve Miner

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Starring Dana Kimmell, Paul Kratka, Tracie Savage, Larry Zerner, Richard Brooker

After I saw Friday the 13th Part 1, I went back to Blockbuster to get Part 2… no dice. It wasn’t there, but Part 3 was. So I followed up Part 1 with Part 3 and got spoiled with the end of Part 2 in the beginning. According to Part 3’s opening, Part 2 really ended with Amy Steel getting Jason with the machete. Part 3 picks up right as he pulls it out of him.

The credits open with funny big letters, and even funnier music. Harry Manfredini goes hard on the soundtrack score and even has a full band. So many Chh Chh Chh’s. I didn’t find out til I started using the internet, that this was originally in 3D. It was a nice surprise when they re-released it with the glasses. More on the 3D part of it later.

This one is notable for Jason first dawning the iconic hockey mask.  Steve Miner now working with a bigger budget continues the familiar Friday style this time with more comedy added in. I actually do like that even though it took away a bit from the suspense the first 2 had. In fact one of Jason’s first victims in this is played by actor Steve Susskind, who played one of Al Bundy’s buddies on Married With Children.

The movie moves along at a good pace in the beginning when we are introduced to the next batch of teens or in this case, young adults. Chris (played Dana Kimmell) is going to her parents’ summer house with her friends for the first time in 2 years. Last time she was there she was attacked by someone (Jason) but got away. She is trying to overcome her fear in this by returning, but of course Jason makes his way over to her spot near the camp and the counselor training center. Crystal Lake is an interesting area.

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The body count is a little higher than Part 2 but not by much. It also takes a little longer to get the kills. I guess it all depends on who you’re watching the movie with. Shelly (played by Larry Zerner) is the idiot prankster that has the hockey mask.  But not long after that part and Vera gets it, game on. Jason does some great memorable kills as usual, and the first time with the hockey mask on! Classic. Hate to spoil it for you, but…


Rick’s crushed head with the eyeball popping out death is the best part.

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There are some pre-hockey mask kills that are really cool, too. After the biker gang getting killed, there’s a lot of filler time till we get to the next kills. But its okay, kind of worth the wait once Jason kicks in with the mask. I kind of get a kick out of Jason being more human-like and not as dead and rotted looking as the later sequels. He moans, moves back when a knife is in his face, and even uses his hand to go down the steps!  Although he is human-like, this is also the first Jason he dies more than once at the end.


My only big complaint is a rotted, decayed Mrs. Voorhees (with head attached) jumping out of the lake at the end to grab Chris. So dumb. I guess its part of her mental breakdown/freaking out at the end. It was all a dream though because it ends on Jason with the ax still in his head.

Once the DVD came out with the 3D glasses, I had to give it a try. It hurt my eyes, but at other times I could see the objects that were coming out at me. My only advice for fans watching in 3D the first time, you have to really, really relax your eyes so that they can adjust. All I can say is, Rick’s eyeball is worth giving a watch in 3D. But 3D or not, still another great Friday the 13th movie.

FUNNY THOUGHTS/NOTABLE OBSERVATIONS

I wonder if Abel, the old hermit that warned them about Jason, was drinking buddies with Crazy Ralph?

The first time I watched this I thought bong-tokin Chuck resembled Tommy Chong  and Harold the shop store owner looked like an older, married Cheech Marin.

Rick not being super pissed about the car situation. Seriously, Rick? You should’ve punched Shelly in the face for letting your car get fucked up, man. Not cool.

There’s a nice nod to Tom Savini in the Fangoria magazine Debbie reads.

Chris going crazy could’ve possibly added more ideas for a sequel, but looks like they went with the Tommy Jarvis character going crazy instead (see Part 5 in future blog post).

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
****1/2

Directed by Steve Miner

Starring Amy Steel, John Furey,  Adrienne King, Betsy Palmer, Warrington Gillette, Steve Daskawitz

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I didn’t get to see this one till later, but it wasn’t hard to figure out that this is the first one that Jason is the main killer in….AND he doesn’t have a hockey mask. He has a pillow case or potato sack with a hole cut out. I also want to note that Steve Miner directed this and Part 3. He worked on part 1 with Sean S. Cunningham, so he knew the formula. A lot of the style of Part 1 is still present but with some light humor added in. Harry Manfredini rocks it again with the classic Psycho-esque score.
Somehow Jason makes it to Alice’s house. The enigma of Jason remains as we don’t know if he truly jumped out of the lake at the end of Part 1 or not or if it was all in Alice’s head. He could’ve drowned and then came back as a zombie. Jason basically IS a zombie.
Well anyway, our lone survivor, Alice, gets taken out first.  It is supposed to take place 2 months later.  There’s a nice flashback dream in case you didn’t see Part 1.  Alice’s still freaked out by everything. She should’ve gone to California like she said. Some suspenseful moments later, she opens her fridge to find’s Mrs. Voorhees’ decapitated head in it. She is icepicked to the temple not long after. I felt her death was too soon, especially after seeing her name in the opening credits AFTER her death. The reason being there was a real-life stalker fan after Adrienne King at the time. Yikes. Poor Adrienne.

 


After the credits, flash forward 5 years later. Suddenly it feels kind of like an 80s Comedy with a cameo by Crazy Ralph (nice to see him come back!).

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Instead of these horny, young teens going to the abandoned camp itself, they go to a counselor training center that is nearby. All the cliche’s are here – Ted the prankster is introduced to us and right away you want him to be part of the body count. There’s the head counselor Paul (John Furey), his college girlfriend Ginny (Amy Steel), Jeff and Sandra the horny couple, Mark the wheelchair guy and his love interest Vicky, Scott the perv, and Terry the hottie he flirts with. There’s a classic scene early on where Paul explains the legend of Jason.

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It takes some time before it gets going and unfortunately it’s not Tom Savini’s amazing effects this time. The deaths are still good but again its very unfortunate that the cut scenes really are lost forever. They were apparently way more graphic.
Before the nubile teens get slaughtered, poor Crazy Ralph gets bumped off.  He was an enjoyable weirdo. I like how he was the prototype “prophet of doom” for the series.
Also a cop that discovers Jason in the woods gets it.
I very much enjoy the killing one-by-one style after the trainees stay behind during the beer run. Jason does some brutal kills such as a double impalement during sex and slashing a guy’s throat while he’s hanging upside down.

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When Ginny and Paul get back from the bar, Jason stalks and attacks. There’s some suspenseful moments, but the chasing around starts to drag a while. After the long chase scene, we get to see the almighty shrine to Mrs. Voorhees in Jason’s shack.

 


Ginny uses her psychology skills and pretends to be Jason’s mother. Before Jason figures out the diversion, Paul fights back at Jason and Ginny gets a good whack. The ending can be confusing. We don’t know if it ends how Part 3 says it does, or at the end-end here where Paul may or may not have been killed after Ginny being taken away by Jason jumping through the window.

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Despite all my complaints, this one’s still a classic Friday the 13th movie. Steve Miner created the style and formula that defines a “typical Friday the 13th”. There are some great shots of the woods creating the surreal atmosphere of Crystal Lake. I liked the cast in this one, too. It was great to see Amy Steel again in April Fools Day. I think John Furey should’ve been in more slasher movies and 1980s comedies. Just sayin’.
Overall, great sequel to Part 1 because it gets better. My only real complaint is Ted doesn’t get killed. He was smart for looking for after hours’ places. Dammit Ted. Also Jason’s P.O.V. gets too close some times. How do they not see Jason staring at them? It’s not every time they show his P.O.V., but certain ones. Also there are some more buildup scenes that are longer than needed… and Ted still doesn’t get killed. He’s the prankster! Even Ned got it in the first one. Sheesh!

Funny/Notable Observations:

– How did Jason get Mrs. Voorhees head in the fridge? He must’ve been carrying it the whole time on his long walk to Alice’s house, and put it in the fridge after she hears the noise.
– Still looks totally 1980-81, but I guess it could pass for 1984, if Part 1 happened in ’79.
– I see NJ License Plates again.
– – Every time I see the Jeff character I think of Danny Noonan. Speaking of Danny Noonan, the cop that chases Jason to his shack looks like Danny Noonan’s dad in Caddyshack. Weird.
– The only one of the series showing Jason’s shack. Great job with the toilet installation, JV!
– The bar band rocks.
– The KISS Pinball Machine in the back during Ginny’s Psychoanalysis on Jason.
– Paul vs. Jason first fight seems cheesy. I don’t know maybe its just how the music sounds and seeing Amy Steel just stand there watching all confused.
–  Did Paul die or…?
– This or Part 3 may have the most Chh Chh Chh Haaa Haa

Friday the 13th (1980)

Friday the 13th (1980)
*****

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Directed by: Sean S. Cunningham

Starring: Betsy Palmer, Adrienne King, Harry Crosby, Kevin Bacon, Ari Lehman

Before I start anything here on Friday the 13th, I just want to say the bulk of these reviews are spoilers. So if you haven’t seen any Friday the 13th movie and think I am totally ruining it for you, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The original classic – the starting point of it all. I remember being in Elementary school and always wondering what the Jason story was. All I knew in those days was that Jason wore a hockey mask and killed people and there were a lot of sequels. I was even told by my friends that he killed people with a chainsaw. Of course they were probably getting him mixed up with Leatherface. It wasn’t until about 5th grade when I finally rented the movie at Blockbuster.  It wasn’t long after having just seen the first Halloween. Right away there was an instant love.

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One of the first victims

Laugh all you want but I really did find this scary when I first watched it. True fact. My first thoughts were that Jason was the killer. Nothing other than the eye view of the killer was shown, and that made it very creepy.   Harry Manfredini’s score, while very reminiscent of Psycho, gives it the right suspenseful tone. The “Chh Chh Ha Haa” is fucking brilliant.

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Our main cast that gets killed off one by one

The biggest highlight of this film is Tom Savini’s special effects. I knew for a while before watching it the first time that Kevin Bacon was going to be in it. It was cool to see a familiar face, even if it wasn’t very long. His death scene really jumped out at me and it’s the first one in the movie that gets gory. It’s followed shortly by his girlfriend walking around in her underwear, and gets a hatchet to the face. First time I ever saw something like that in the movie. Almost looks simple now, but back then that was a freaky movie moment for me.

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After those 2 deaths, the enigma of the murderer just keeps building. In fact, the next one who gets it, Brenda, hears the voice of a kid yelling “Help!” That part was definitely freaky and to this day I still find it creepy. It’s supposed to be Jason but I didn’t know that until later. You never know where it came from.

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Once we get to the end we are introduced to Mrs. Voorhees played by the amazing Betsy Palmer. She reveals that she once worked at the camp and her son Jason died there. At that moment I thought Jason was going to pop out with a hockey mask and chainsaw. No dice, but its Mrs. Voorhees herself! I had no idea the series started that way.

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Mrs. Voorhees (Betsy Palmer)

A semi-complaint I have is how long it takes till we get to the final showdown with Alice and Mrs. Voorhees. A really creepy moment it when she talks in a child’s voice (supposed to be Jason’s) while trying to track down Alice.

As we get towards the end of the film, Alice and Mrs. Voorhees get in an old woman/young woman cat fight.  Finally, Alice chops her head off with a machete… It’s an amazing Tom Savini special effect especially with her hands still moving after the decapitation. Its an epic moment, but the best is yet to come. Alice decides to float around on the canoe and take a nap. She is awoken in the early morning when she notices cop cars pulling up to the lake.  Boom ! Jason pops out from the water and pulls her under. That really was an actual jump for me at age 11. It scared the shit out of me because I never expected it and prior to that had never seen “surprise shock” endings like that before.  It worked well for me as a young fan of movies back then.

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I very much enjoy Manfredini’s end credit music. The other thing about the ending is that it is an enigma because of Jason coming back as an older adult looking for revenge in Part 2. They didn’t know at the time that the first movie would be a success, so it leaves the ending as a strange anomaly that may or may not have happened.

After I finished the first movie, the next thing that had to happen was to see all the sequels. Most importantly, I had to show all my friends who hadn’t seen any of the movies. That was the best for me because every person I watched these movies with either liked it or hated it, but always had funny comments to contribute.

While this is a staple in Slasher movie history up there with Halloween and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, my only real complaints are the long buildups to the offscreen kills. All the classic cliches’ of Slashers are here as well, just as expected.

The reason I give this a 5-star rating is because this was the movie that got me addicted to the Slasher style (even more so than Halloween) and I went crazy to find more and more. This was/is/always will be an important movie in my life no matter how much it will age over time.

Funny/Notable Observations:

  • The first time we are introduced to Crazy Ralph, the man who warns everyone that they are doomed.
  • Steve Christy, the guy putting Camp Crystal Lake back together, was definitely trying to bang Alice. Shortly after that moment in the movie, Alice goes to see Bill (Harry Crosby) and is being watched… close. How the hell does Alice not notice Mrs. Voorhees right next to her when she talks to Bill? The POV of the murderer just seems too close by.
  • Throughout the film, we see license plates and addresses that say Blairstown, NJ where it was filmed. Even though according to events of the F13 timeline, we are supposed to believe that they are in a little more northwards up in Connecticut.
  • I wonder what happened to Sandy the waitress. She seemed like a nice lady. Was Steve Christy checking her out? He still owes her a night on the town.

Movie Reviews

For some reason it’s hard for me to write movie reviews. I want to post as many as I can to this page for all of you to read. However at the same time I feel like my reviews would be too cliche of a reading for people that like the movie I’m reviewing.  So I am trying to edit the ones I have written now, and making sure my sometimes humorous commentary is all there. It won’t always be super critical, unless I personally dislike the picture and really want to just rant on it. If I get really into it, I always feel people are going to start arguing over what I say, so I may have to disable comments in case elitist trolls come in to defend their opinions.

Well anyway, as far as movie reviews on this page go, I wanted to put up my review of every Martin Scorsese film in honor of Taxi Driver‘s 40th anniversary. However, time has passed, and I am not done all the reviews. Its more like New York, New York‘s 40th anniversary at this point :\ They will be coming soon, I am up to his 90’s movies at the moment. But if I post each movie of his one at a time and not all at once, this may work.
I still haven’t seen Vinyl Season 1 pilot yet, or Silence. So I still got ways to go yet.
Keep checking back!

D. D. Bauchery